Unfiltered Page 7

  As my day begins at work and I view the schedule for the rest of the week, my mind drifts to Justine, as it has for almost the month I have known her. She seems to fill an emptiness I didn’t know existed in my life.

  The life I left in Sacramento seems insignificant now to what I am building with Justine. I left some wonderful things behind and though it saddens me, Justine replaces those voids.

  The practice I built in Sacramento is booming and though I didn’t take a loss, I didn’t make as much of a profit since I sold it to Annie and Kent for a fraction of the cost. I feel a responsibility to my patients to leave them with someone I trust.

  I look up and see the picture of Emma at the age of fourteen with a baby golden retriever. Sammy was everything to Emma and took over both our hearts the minute I brought him home from the pound. Leaving him with Jane and Lila was the only selfless thing I could do since he would not survive the winter up here. Being around dogs all day when I am dogless seems weird, especially for a vet. Yet, I long to comb his scruffy coat and allow him to be the lap dog his ninety-pound body never warranted.

  My house in Sacramento was nothing like this one. With its modern design, it was my sanctuary from the world. But as I pull out my phone and look at one of the many pictures I snapped of Justine in the weeks I have known her, she is worth the sacrifices.

  14

  Justine

  After a hellish day, I power on my phone to see a message from Lorelei.

  Lore: Your house, 8:00 p.m. I will have a half an hour to hang out.

  I normally would tell her no, but because of our limited time, I will take what I can get. I want to see Nick, the need I have for him outweighs most anything in my life, but setting my relationship straight with Lore is just as important. I text Nick to fill him in.

  Me: Hey, Lorelei is coming over tonight, the only time I have with her. Hope you understand. Can we do something tomorrow night?

  Nick: Of course. I’m not the jealous type. Have fun with her. Will miss you. Call me if you have time on your way home. I would love to hear your voice.

  I reply quickly as I leave the control tower. After my shift and the verbal assault this morning by Rafe, I can really feel my age rapidly approaching. How am I almost forty? In my mind, I am still the spirited twenty-something-year-old that could take on everything life threw my way. But now, my body aches all over, and I hope to get home for a quick bath before Lorelei arrives.

  Picking up my phone to call Nick, I instantly reach his voicemail. “Hey there, it’s Justine. I’m heading home. I will miss you tonight.”

  Pulling into the driveway we share, I see Nick arriving home from work at the same time. “Hey, sexy lady. You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Giving me a kiss, he says, “Good to see you. Wish you could relax with me for a while.”

  Leaning back, I look him up and down as I say, “I am glad to see my daughter didn’t poke any extra holes in you.” Looking at my watch, I see it is just seven thirty. Lorelei texted just a minute ago and is not coming until eight thirty now—something to do with Madeline not going to bed at her normal time. Heaven forbid Ryan would have to act like a father for once and handle his own kids.

  “I have an hour but I desperately need a shower. Let me take one and I’ll be over soon.”

  “Hey, a better idea—your bath bag and clothes are still at my house. Just take one there.”

  Smiling, I simply reply, “That is a great idea.” I light up at the suggestion of spending some time with him. Truth be told, I want to cancel with Lore and snuggle on the couch in his arms. Snuggling, I think, what has he reduced me to?

  I follow him into his house. Turning on the lights, I make a beeline for his room. “Wait a second there, missy,” he says, closing the gap, gently massaging my shoulders. “How does that feel?”

  I moan because it feels so good. “Um, I think you know by my reaction.”

  “Can I get in the shower with you?”

  My cheeks instantly flush at the idea. We have been pushing it, as if I am a teenager making out with my boyfriend in the back seat of his car. I sure as hell hope it won’t be much longer that he holds onto this conscience. “Do you think that is a good idea? I don’t have the energy for that right now.” Though I can’t wait to be intimate with him, I don’t want a quickie in the shower to be our first time.

  “Neither do I, but I would love to be close to you. You’re all I have thought about today.”

  “Well, as long as you can behave yourself,” I reply with a wry smile. “Let me get in first.” He has seen me naked before and seemed to like what he saw, gauging from his reaction.

  Sitting on the bed, he watches me undress. “What a wonderful view.” To make it more enticing, I give him a show, slipping my clothes off scintillatingly like a stripper might. He only moans and I achieve my goal, creating an agony inside of him I see through his eyes.

  “I thought you would like that,” I tease, always with the over-confident way I hold myself.

  “Let me know when I can get in.”

  “Just going to wash my hair and shave and then I’m all yours.”

  After a couple of minutes, he apparently can’t help himself and opens the shower door, coming up behind me. Grabbing me around my bare waist, he kisses my naked back before he spins me around, as our mouths meet.

  I withdraw quickly and go behind him with some soap, washing his back tenderly. “This feels so good, Justine.”

  Feeling playful, I grab his butt. “You are playing dirty,” he goads, turning around.

  “No, not at all! It was just there, and it looked so good I had to feel it,” I tease.

  “Well, do you mind too terribly if I play with these?” he quips, pointing to my breasts.

  “Have at it,” I beckon with raised eyebrows. It is almost as if I am a kid, sneaking out with Michael Baker for the first time. This is more than the newness and Nick makes me feel special.

  “Firm, substantial. I approve,” he comments as he leans down and takes one in his mouth.

  “Now that is playing dirty.”

  “All's fair in love and war,” he replies.

  That's just it, this feels like the start of it: love. I feel things for this man I never thought I could. I am exposed like I am an open book and it feels right.

  “Okay, point taken, but if we’re going to get through this, you need to stop that. There is only so much I can take, and I don’t want to have sex with you for the first time when we are rushed. This is nice, though.” I laugh.

  “Do you want to sleep over here tonight after your friend leaves?”

  “Um, I am afraid we won’t sleep,” I say.

  “Is that a bad thing?” My face perks at his innuendo.

  “Is your fucking conscience gone, finally?” I ask.

  “No, but it is satisfied now. We have something real we can build on.”

  I want to jump up and down for joy. Is tonight the night we finally make love? If so, my time with Lore will certainly stick to a timeline. I don’t want to let go. I fit right into Nick’s perfect torso. He continues to rub my back as I do nothing but enjoy his touch. However, looking at the clock that he weirdly keeps in his bathroom, I say, “Crap, it’s eight fifteen. There goes winding down a bit with you and if I wasn’t positive Lore had already left her house, I would cancel.” My senses are now on overdrive, and the idea of him inside of me tonight makes me wet, and that has nothing to do with the shower.

  “That’s okay; this was nice. If this is any preview of what making love to you will be like, then I can’t wait.” Nick continues to hold me, and I love his arms around me.

  I never refer to it as making love, but in my mind, I am falling for him so hard that love seems to be right around the corner. How can I love someone I have only known for less than a month?

  After we dry off from the shower and get dressed, I kiss him goodbye and walk out the door. “I will text when she leaves.”

  Lorelei is just pulling up when I walk out of N
ick’s house. “Hey, there! What’s going on over at your neighbor’s?” Lorelei inspects me from top to bottom with her cheeky little grin, asking, “Why are you wet?”

  “I just got out of the shower. What do you think?”

  “At your neighbor’s?” She looks at the patch hole in the side of my house. “What’s going on with that?”

  “Well, one reason I got to know Nick was my water main broke and he offered his shower to me,” I say as an explanation but by Lorelei’s reaction, she isn’t buying it.

  “Is it still broken?” she questions with raised eyebrows.

  “Well, no, but all my stuff was at his house, and he wanted to spend some time with me before you got over here.” Knowing my friend like I do, Lorelei will never buy this, although this is the truth.

  “I want to spend time with you, too, Tine, but we are not showering together to make it happen,” she teases.

  Still laughing, we walk in the house, and I turn into my kitchen while she follows. I grab Lorelei’s favorite wine, pouring her a glass. “You know I told Ryan I wouldn’t share much about you, but I just had to tell him about Rose and Nick. You made his week.”

  “I am glad I could give Ryan a good laugh. Even over the phone, it was hilarious. Though Rafe is going to have a coronary over the whole thing. He left me a message this afternoon pissed that the kids had breakfast at Nick’s.”

  “Well, just give him time. Remember how hard it was for you to see him happy with Hildy, and now you adore her. He will come around,” Lore reminds me. As we sit laughing and drinking wine, our two favorite things to do together, my hope is restored in our friendship, one I can never live without.

  The second Lorelei steps foot out of my house, I text Nick and he is at my front door within thirty seconds, pulling me close. “I want you now!” Nick simply groans.

  My heart flutters. I never have waited this long to sleep with a man; in retrospect, I never have loved a man before sleeping with him. I bite down on my lip, giving him a lopsided grin. “It is about fucking time,” I tease as affection grows in my eyes and he leads me to my bedroom.

  “I really don’t want to hurry. This can be slow, gentle, and kind,” Nick whispers to me but to the contrary, we undress frantically, falling on the bed together. We are skin to skin as he nibbles on my neck then takes my nipples in his mouth one at a time. “I have never met anyone like you. I never thought I would. You are making me think things for myself I have discounted in life for so long,” Nick utters breathlessly.

  I pop my head up, curious by his words. “Like what?” I ask.

  “I don’t want to scare you,” he says as his eyes study my body.

  “I don’t think you can, Nick,” I say, holding him tight.

  “I could see myself with you for the rest of my life.” He touches my face gently.

  “When you say this to me, it’s really not scary. Not at all.”

  We then connect with our eyes as his moves now become methodical. Starting off with my face, he places a lone but intimate kiss on my cheek. Then taking his hands behind my back, he pulls me close, searching me with his hands until they find the curves of my ass.

  “I want you so much right now,” he almost begs.

  “I need you inside of me, fucking now!” I demand.

  Calmly grabbing my hands, he leans in to whisper in my ear, “We have time.” He takes me and lays me on the bed. He kneels in front of me, leaning over and gently placing caressing kisses up and down my thighs. After the sensuality of his touch, I almost attack him when I grab him to stroke his erection. “Not too much, I want to be inside of you, and if this continues, I won’t get too far. It’s been a while for me.”

  “Well, that is good to know.” I am assured.

  “Should I get a condom?” he asks.

  “Not as long as you’ve been careful with other women. I’ve been careful, plus I have my tubes tied.”

  He studies my face intently. “Justine, I am falling in love with you. This, you and me, it’s important.” Nick’s eyes are joined with mine as our connections deepens, I realize he now owns me.

  I can barely say, “This—us—it is so fucking important to me, too. I have been waiting for this, for someone like you.” I can’t stress how much I need him, always convincing myself I was fine alone—until he came along.

  Filling the small gap between us, I demand that it will be right now. “Justine, I want this to be special,” he says. I accept his mouth in mine as we crush against one another. He finds my core as I moan into his kiss. Filling me with his fingers, he works me as I writhe in anticipation for what is still to come.

  “You are so wet,” he whispers, his husky voice bringing me back to reality after an off the charts orgasm has left me reeling. As he finds my clit again, another moan escapes my throat. I take his face in my hands and look into his eyes. This is what I have wanted for so long, it beats any past cheap thrill. My heart leaps at the pleasure I see in his eyes, and I know it is all because of me.

  Now, I am turned on and need to touch him. I look for his erection, which is not hard to find. “Does this feel good?” I ask, licking the tip right before I take him in my mouth.

  “Oh, fuck yes,” he moans, knowing there is so much more to come.

  He teases my nipples and the more he plays with them, the wetter I become. While I can’t voice my appreciation, I am in complete bliss as his fingers work their magic, and another orgasm takes over my body.

  “Justine, I want to be inside of you,” he sighs as he flips me over, almost too easily, and starts to work his way down my body. “I have to taste you first.” As he finds my center with his tongue, it doesn’t take long for another orgasm to overtake me, and I am shouting out his name. I shudder with delight as he can’t seem to take his eyes off of me. In the reflection of my own desire, I see his longing deep in his eyes and it turns me on even more.

  “Fuck, Nick!” I almost scream as I squirm under his touch.

  “I needed to taste you and it is all that I have been imagining,” he repeats, smiling at me as he works himself into my core. He is not a small man and as he enters me, I feel him filling me up. As I adjust to take his width in, I am overcome by the senses that are being awoken.

  “You feel too good, so tight.” He continues to stare into my eyes, not losing the emotional connection that we are both experiencing. “And you are sexy as hell.” When we are one together, he whispers, “I will never let you go. You are safe with me. And yes, I think I will always find you sexy,” he says while he continues to plunge deep inside of me as we both writhe in ecstasy at the same time.

  Looking into my eyes, he pronounces, “It is official. I am in love with you, Justine.”

  “I don’t think I have ever felt like this before. Those words would have been hard to say in the past, but with you it’s obvious. This is different,” I say as I hold on tightly to his body.

  Afterward, as I lay in his arms, I am feeling safe and treasured. These are emotions I seldom experience. Lying with him, I understand this is what I have always needed, but didn’t know I missed. I caress his chin, feeling the late day stubble on his face which in itself makes him look sexier than normal. I say breathlessly, “I am absolutely blown away right now.”

  “Me, too, sweetheart.”

  “Hmm, sweetheart, I love that. I like you calling me endearing names.” I smile softly at him, my eyes heavy, my breathing evening out until I fall asleep quickly in his arms.

  15

  Nick

  I can sit here all morning watching her sleep. Until now, it had seemed as if I was doomed in the love department. Sure, I could have seen me at one point with Annie forever, but we gave everything to Emma. I wouldn’t give that up, ever. However, I knew it would have to be a special woman who would make me want to surrender all my freedom. Any woman I found myself with would need to be the one that could tame my demons. When I did find that woman, I figured I would know it right away and I sure as hell did—the day I saw J
ustine squaring off with her ex.

  She may sleep the day away and part of me wants to indulge her, but the other part of me—the selfish part—wants to spend time with her before I leave for the clinic. Gently massaging her shoulders as she lays on her stomach, she stirs a little with a slight grin. I want to think I put the smirk on her face.

  “I made breakfast, but I have to leave in the next hour to get to work,” I say as she turns, completely naked, and I am face to face again with her beauty. “I am loving this.”

  She stretches out and yawns. “I was hoping you could crawl back into bed,” she says playfully. Technically I am in bed with her but I am fully clothed while she is as naked as the day she came into this world. Her words are heavily laced with need.

  “I know, I want nothing more than that, too, but being an adult sucks sometimes, babe,” I apologize as I grab the tray. To my displeasure, she is sitting up and covered when I place the tray on top of her.

  “Ah, don’t cover up, I like this view.”

  She smirks at me and teases, “Well, I can’t drop hot hash browns on my bare boobs, that might hurt.” She takes a sip of her coffee and the thought of taking care of her makes me come undone. She needs me just as much as I need her.

  Before I can say anything, she says, “I forgot to mention it, but tonight we are meeting Rafe and Hildy. Then tomorrow, with it being a Friday, I am taking the kids out for dinner. I haven’t had to worry about logistics for a month. Losing my maternal hold has fucking hurt, but I feel like I am getting it back, finally.” I see the hurt in her eyes subsiding.

  However, I groan internally at the idea of coming face to face with her ex-husband. I am still pissed as hell over the harsh words he used toward Justine just two days ago when I had to rock her for comfort. She seems more forgiving when it comes to her ex-husband. Trying to forget the dreaded task of meeting Rafe, I laugh at her shoveling food in her face. “How do you stay so thin? You have a great appetite. I’ve never seen someone use that much butter on pancakes before.” I need to study everything about her. The massive amounts of butter both make me laugh and cringe for her health at the same time.