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  “I have no doubt of that, for sure,” I state plainly.

  “I am not kind to her when you are around, and I don’t know why. It’s the reason I suggested her relationship with you should be separate from me for now. I will never ask her to give you up because that will hurt her. I sense disdain dripping off of you the second we are within arm’s reach. That makes me treat her badly, which I don’t ever want to do. And I feel you get a skewed view of our relationship, too. I love Lorelei so much and can’t imagine my life without her.”

  I stand in front of him, floored, realizing there is a whole other side of Ryan. I knew it was there, I haven't always hated him. We were once good friends as he became close to Lore and I fell in love with Rafe. But I never knew Ryan felt like this, not to this level. I realize the damage I have done. “I am sorry for all the shots I have taken at you in the past. Regardless of my feelings, I am a grownup who cares for Lorelei, and I made it harder on her. I hope you can accept my apology.”

  “That means a lot coming from you, Justine. I do hope one day we all can hang out together. I would really like to meet your new guy,” he says, his tone hopeful.

  “Thanks, Ryan,” I say.

  “Hey, Justine.” He turns around, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

  “Yes?”

  “I see you are really happy. I’m still laughing over that whole knife incident. Funniest thing I have ever heard.” I realize in that second, I will never live Rose’s little hysterics down.

  “Well, so glad my love life fills everyone with amusement.”

  Soon after I drop the kids off with Rafe and Hildy for the night, I hurry straight to Nick’s home.

  I sneak into the house quietly. “Nick?” I whisper. He must already be in bed since I notice he has nothing put away in the kitchen—very unlike him. I seal the rest of the soup and bread in a Ziploc container after I wipe down the counter with some bleach solution he diligently keeps by the sink. I have been joking with him about being a bit of a germaphobe but he is a full-blown neat freak.

  Turning out the lights and checking the locks, I hear him call for me. “You need anything?” I ask.

  “Just your naked body lying next to mine.”

  “Go to sleep. I will be here in the morning next to you. Wake me if you need me, though, promise?”

  “I will. Hey, Justine?”

  “Yes?”

  “You know with you, I could quit my job, move to Tahiti, buy a place on the beach, and live with you in a bungalow with your only wardrobe item being a bikini, and I would die a happy man.”

  “Well, do you want me to put on a bikini and pretend we are in Tahiti?”

  “Now you are just fulfilling a fantasy!”

  “We have time for whatever fantasy you want.”

  He laughs while holding his head at the same time. “Now you are just being cruel. By the way, is that really my bedroom name, ride-me-cowboy?”

  “Probably just cowboy—it is actually my term of endearment for you.”

  “I wish I didn’t have this headache.” He squirms.

  “Get that head better so I can work on your other head tomorrow, cowboy.”

  Nick moans, “Oh, man, I hit the motherload with you.”

  20

  Nick

  Justine is working all weekend, the weirdest schedule I have ever known. FAA regulations as they are, I still feel unequipped to understand her calendar. She joked with me last night that I needed to be a rocket scientist and I concurred after she tried to explain it to me. It had not been obvious at first, how much I would miss her. She has become ingrained in my heart. I see that past her rough exterior, there is even more for me to discover.

  The morning of Justine’s weekend shift, I decide to truly immerse myself into repairs around her house. The house, though not in bad shape, needs some TLC. After six weeks with her, constantly emerged in her life, I see her house must have once been in really poor condition. The damage caused by her water main scares me for the unforeseen harm it may produce.

  When she told me she hired someone, it made me cringe at the thought of her wasting money on something I can do. I find a couple of loose cabinets in the kitchen and while rummaging through my tool kit, I hear a knock on the door. I also set up general contractors to assess any internal damages from the water main leak.

  “Come on in,” I say, assuming it is one of the contractors. “Hey, there, you’re here with the contractor quote?”

  “No, but let me ask who the hell are you?” this rude man asks, making himself way too comfortable in Justine’s house.

  “I am Nick. Can I ask who the hell you are?”

  “So, you are the one sleeping with my daughter. Okay, that makes sense now. Don’t worry, I won’t pull a knife on you. You know you will never live that one down.” The man chuckles.

  “Mr. Staudle, I presume. It’s nice to meet you. Nick Wallace.” I extend my hand toward him as he walks right past me.

  “You’ve probably heard I am an asshole, so don’t get any ideas about me liking you. I don’t even like my own son. Where is my daughter, by the way?” he asks curtly.

  “Working.” I am as short with Justine’s father as he is with me.

  “And you are here why?”

  “Well, I am waiting on a general contractor from when she had her water main burst and helping Justine with things around the house. No need to pay someone when I am happy to do it.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure there are no strings attached at all.” His tone is accusing.

  This is a precedent that needs to be set right now. Her father can’t think I can be rattled this easily. I want to extend respect to him because of who he is, however, I am not going to be made to fear her father, who obviously really is an asshole. “Actually, I would say there are strings. It just so happens I love her and I see a future with her. I guess you could say taking care of her makes both of us happy, so if those are the strings you’re looking for, they are tied very snugly.”

  “Well, I see you can go tit for tat with me, son. Good for you. That Rafe is spineless.”

  “I actually like Rafe.”

  “The only thing to really like about that boy besides my grandkids, of course, is the ass on his new wife,” Justine’s dad says with a smirk.

  “Well, can’t say I’ve noticed. I guess I am a one ass kind of man.”

  Looking straight at me, Mr. Staudle finally concedes, “All right, you’ve shown your dominance. I guess that will do. Can you tell my daughter I stopped by? I don’t expect to hear back from her until Monday, if that. I know I am not her favorite person.”

  “I really don’t understand why,” I quip sarcastically.

  “I might actually like you, but I forgot your name.”

  I act like a sixteen-year-old girl as I roll my eyes thinking, you do know my name, you asshole. “You will be seeing me again, Mr. Staudle.” This is my way of saying silently, I’m not going anywhere.

  “Call me Jim.”

  “Okay, it is Nick, by the way.”

  “Since you love my daughter and all that mushy crap, please take care of her.”

  “I find it actually very easy,” I say, looking at him, not dropping my gaze. I need Jim Staudle to understand one thing—I will not let anyone disrespect Justine, not even her father.

  Jim finally breaks the glare on his own, walking away without another word. This explains a lot about the girl I love. She is certainly standoffish at times and can be almost coldly direct, but she is not mean-spirited like her dad.

  I start to work on the front steps when the first contractor finally arrives. The news is not good. I hate to give Justine this information, but she told me money is socked away for the upkeep of this house. Though it was in bad shape, her house was a third of the price I paid for mine.

  I begin to wash up for my dinner with Emma and am pleasantly surprised by the array of toiletries Justine has bought for me. She has my shampoo, soap, after shave, razors, and much more, exactly th
e brands I use at home. I am instantly touched by the fact that she took her time to get all of my favorite items. I miss her, but somehow being in her house makes me miss her less.

  I feel my phone vibrate and hope it is Justine calling. Fumbling for my phone, I answer it before I have a chance to see who it is. I instantly say, “Justine?”

  “No, sorry. She is the one with the daughter who almost stabbed you, right?” a familiar voice teases.

  “Annie, hey there, stranger.”

  “Are you going to tell me how far gone you are for this gal or do I need to call our daughter?”

  “Ems didn’t tell you? I am so shocked.”

  “We have been playing phone tag. So, you’ve been in that cold hell hole for six weeks and you already have somebody serious?”

  “I kind of do, Annie,” I say and we both laugh.

  “There is actually a reason I am calling, Nicolas. Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away and we want to come visit. I miss Emma, and Lila and Jane miss their sister, plus Kent needs some time away. Is that all right?”

  That makes me smile, thinking of seeing Annie and her family. “Sure, why don’t you stay here? I have plenty of room.”

  “No, we can just stay in a hotel room. I don’t want to intrude, not with a new woman in your life.”

  Though I have plenty of room for them, this gives me the perfect excuse. “I can stay with Justine. You will not be allowed to stay in a cold, dank hotel.” As we continue to discuss plans for the holiday, I am excited to merge my past with my present. Annie will always be part of my life, but Justine is my future.

  21

  Justine

  What a hell of a day, I think to myself. What jackasses I work with. I wonder what this idiot was thinking? I have been a witness to many close calls in my career as an air traffic controller but never with such disregard for protocol. This deal—as we refer to as close calls in the Air Traffic community—where the jackass allowed the planes within the standard five miles apart horizontal and a thousand feet vertical, made my heart stop. Near misses are rare in my line of work because they keep such generous standards, but it was a display of such incompetency that I couldn’t let it go, yet I can’t even think about it anymore. Thankfully Sadie, my boss, was called in to handle the situation because she has more finesse in these situations than I do. The kid could lose his job and he deserves to, but lately I seem to have gotten a bit soft on people. What is Nick doing to me?

  I haven’t seen him all weekend since I am more exhausted than normal after a long and busy weekend rotation. The second my shift ends, I am in my car and heading home. I text him quickly.

  Me: I’ll be home no later than 7:30.

  Nick: I can’t wait.

  Due to my moods on these shifts, I haven’t seen him since I left for work yesterday morning. And boy, do I have a surprise for him.

  He takes care of me. When I got home from work yesterday, he had made me dinner before he left for the night. I never had that with anyone, not Rafe, not even my family. My dad took center stage, and my mom never got to be the maternal figure that I needed growing up.

  I don't even stop at my house. I run up his steps and open the door frantically. In the kitchen, he doesn’t know I am coming until I am on top of him. Turning around, he grabs for me as I am already unbuttoning my pants. It is a race to see who can undress first. I am breathing hard, almost panting, needing him immediately. “Goodness gracious! I like this greeting.” I am in fierce primal need. He sees it quickly in my eyes and he has no problem with the direction this passion is taking us both.

  I kiss him as if it has been years. I work my tongue deeply inside of his mouth as I grab his bare ass. His fingers make their way to my core and stopping for a second, he leans back with a smile. My overly greedy pussy is something he takes pride in and he should because he does this to me. I don’t speak, and I will not allow him to either. There will be plenty of time for words later. Within a span of a second, he spins me around, leaning my torso on the kitchen counter. Silently, he delves his fingers back inside of me as my wetness increases. I love the way he pushes me down, showing a little dominance yet is still gentle with me. This is my Nick, in every way, and I am still myself when I say, “Just fucking do it already.” With both a deep chuckle and a moan from him, he enters me hard and as he does, we adjust to the position when he pushes me further onto the counter, and I am loving every minute. This feels hot—almost dirty, something a respectable mother doesn’t do—but still I make a mental note to partake in this position more often. I feel his breath on my neck and it adds to the adventure, just imagining the facial expressions that he is making as he grows within me, getting harder and harder. As he kisses my back, he pushes with more intensity and one last thrust sets us both overboard and we delight together in our orgasms. I drop to my knees instantly as I turn around, engulfing his cock into my mouth. This is one technique I learned from him—he loves a blow job right after he has come and boy do I love pleasing him.

  He quickly leads me to his room, where he recovers and we make love again, this time gently. I am wrapped in his arms, saying very little for several minutes, just enjoying the closeness of one another. This is my future, I see it for the first time since Nick waltzed into my life. Although with Nick, his commitment to me is more like a marathon.

  After we make love again, Nick jumps right into his vision of Thanksgiving and the small family get-together he has in mind. “Could I stay with you that week? Annie is coming up and I thought it would be nicer for them to stay at my house instead of a hotel.”

  I take his face into my hands. “You never need an excuse to stay with me, I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet but I will have the kids that week. Rafe and Hildy are going to his parents’ in Seattle. I don’t think we can do what we just did while they are here, at least in the kitchen,” I say with a wink. “And you know I will not cook, but I can order a fancy meal.”

  “That part has been solved.” Of course, it is, I think. This is Nick. He never leaves a stone unturned. “We can do dinner at my house. Annie offered to cook.”

  Of course, his baby mama wants to cook; it goes with the cuteness of his family. “Wow, combining everyone; that is a big step.” I am hesitant.

  “It is, but we have to start somewhere. Are you scared?”

  I am nervous for this huge step but I nod my head, agreeing to this holiday dinner. His smile is all I need to know he is happy.

  My kids have been back in my life for the past three weeks. We have become accustomed to spending three to four nights a week together for dinner. We are healing, learning open communication. Sometimes we bring take-out to the house, although Nick tries to banish take-out orders altogether. Other nights, he wins, and he cooks for us. But tonight, just a couple of days before Nick’s little family arrives, I take the kids out, just the three of us, wanting an open discussion concerning the plans for Thanksgiving. I am afraid if Nick is with us, I won’t get an honest response from them.

  Tonight, we’re at Zip’s, which is our normal dinner spot when it is just us three, our place. “Since you two aren’t going to Grandpa and Grandma Hernandez’s for Thanksgiving, we need to discuss our plans.”

  “Please tell me you are not cooking.”

  Trying to feign a hurt look, I can’t help but laugh. “No, don’t worry. I won’t ever do that to you, but Nick is going to be staying with us that week. His daughter’s mom will be in town, and they are staying at his house. I need to know if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  “Mom, you are having sex. It is not out of the ordinary for moms to get loose and wild at times. It’s all good. However, I’ll say I would really love not hearing you in the act,” Kai says.

  “Well, I will try to oblige you on that,” I reply, laughing at Kai’s forwardness. He is certainly my kid.

  “Rose?”

  “Well, I will try not to wave anything dangerous at him, Mom, but I can’t make any promises.”

  “Oka
y, so that is problem number one solved. Now onto the next matter at hand. Would you be all right going to Nick’s to have dinner with his family? It will be Emma, Tyler, Emma’s mom, step-dad, and twin sisters.”

  They both look at one another and back at me when Rose, the oldest, takes charge and says, “Well, I am not going to lie, that makes it a bit uncomfortable—like we are some big happy family. But we can get through one meal.”

  “Thanks for being so cool about this, you two. He is really important to me.”

  “We get that, Mom,” Rose replies.

  “I am working an odd shift that week with the holiday. I will be gone most of the day and Nick will be at the house without me. I don’t want it to be awkward. If you think it will be…” Before I can continue, I am cut off.

  “Mom, we are big kids, we can handle ourselves.”

  “Okay, good.” I have always known I have great kids and my rough patch with them is coming to an end. They are changed for the better.

  We talk for a while like we haven’t in a long time. Kai wants to show me the change in his grades and it brings a tear to my eye. It is a quick turnaround. Rose is eager to tell me the status change in her relationship with Jones. “I think we need to date. We sort of skipped that vital part and went right to sex. For now, we have decided to stop the sexual part of our relationship.” I am shocked and when Rose asks to have Jones over for Thanksgiving, I agree to get to know him better.

  I ask, “Will you please have dinner with us on Saturday so you can meet Emma?” I have shared with them that Emma is an acquired taste. The looks on their faces are honest, but it seems as if they silently agree amongst each other to endure the harshness of Emma for me.

  “Sure, Mom, we’re both grounded so it’s not like we have plans.”

  “Um, thanks, I guess.”