Forgiven (The Power of Three Love Series Book 4) Read online

  Her body created space from me. “What are you saying, Jack?”

  “I’m bisexual, Clara. I’d plan to share this all with you tonight before I found out about Bodhi, but now, I understand how hard it may be to hear this. And my last relationship was with Cami and Dane Gregory, the couple who are now committed to Miles Sterling.”

  Her eyes stayed downturned as she moved as far away from me on the couch as she could get. “I’m attracted to you, Clara, but I’ve been bisexual my whole life. And Cami and Dane were my only triad. In the past, I’ve fallen in love with the person, not the sex. I don’t need a man just because I have a woman. And if I was in a relationship with a man, I didn’t need a woman. It’s the individual I was with at the time, and he or she was enough for me. I’ve never cheated on anyone. My situation with Cami and Dane was unique, but it worked. Please don’t compare me to your ex. I’m not him.”

  I’d said everything I could think of saying, but tears poured down her face. “I didn’t want to come over and have sex with you until you knew the truth. If you’re upset about this, I understand.”

  She’d almost curled herself into a ball against the armrest of the couch, but then she swung her legs over the side of the sofa and pushed herself up. I’d expected her to retreat to her bedroom, but she walked over to me. She pulled at my hands, so I stood, towering over her smaller frame. I was six feet tall, half a foot taller than her.

  “You told me the truth, and that counts for something.” She stood on her tippy toes, slinging her arms around me. “I can’t compare you to Bodhi. You aren’t him, so I won’t do it. Just please be careful with my fragile heart. Could you do this?”

  Using the back of my hand, I wiped away every tear which had smeared her perfect makeup, making each one disappear. “I will handle it with the utmost of care, I promise you this, Clara Ashley.”

  Opening my mouth slightly, I crashed my lips with hers, a seal of my promise, and it was then, Clara grabbed my heart, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get it back.

  10

  Clara

  His confession changed everything with us. That night, we had partaken in more animalistic sex as we’d teased we would. We’d been slow, methodical, and between fucking and making slow love with one another, we’d eaten the Chinese food we’d ordered all the while laughing and joking about everything and nothing. It was the most intimate and erotic of nights I’d ever shared with another.

  The next morning, I woke to an empty bed, but I knew he hadn’t left—either that or some stranger was cooking me the most glorious of breakfasts in my kitchen. Scrambling to my feet at nine in the morning, I still had at least three more hours with Jack, and I wanted to talk a little more about what he brought up last night.

  “She walks; she talks; she’s almost human.” His phrases made me giggle, and I loved how odd he was compared to the millennials I was used to. Closing the space between us, I hurried toward him—a pair of track pants slung low on his waist.

  Encircling my arms around him, I rested my hands on his hard abs. “Hey, Jack?”

  “Um, yeah?” he asked, flipping a piece of French toast over. I took this opportunity to kiss his bare back, all the way up to his neck.

  “How old are you? I think after what we’ve shared, I should know.”

  Turning around in my embrace, he looked at me as his hands moved my robe aside just enough for his mouth to cover one of my nipples. “Hell, I can feast on this all day.”

  “Jack, you’re avoiding my question,” I jested, backing away from his embrace.

  “I’ll tell you, foxy, as long as you get your sexy little ass back over near me.” I obeyed his command, and a part of me knew we’d been role-playing since last night when he’d bent me over the couch, but the other part would love this dominance on a more normal basis.

  I stepped back near him, and he untied my belt, and my nakedness was pulled close to him. “Ah, much better, foxy.” He dropped a kiss on my head. “I’m forty-three, but don’t let the age difference freak you out.”

  I scoffed. “No, I actually like the age gap. It’s sexy as fuck.”

  His fingers palmed my bare ass. “You are sexy as fuck, my little minx.” He turned with my arms still around him to place the French toast on a plate next to fresh strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream.

  “I didn’t have those in my fridge, my magician of a man.”

  “Yeah, I have my ways, foxy. I had to get nutrients back into us after last night.”

  I laughed, backing away from him again, but this time, I made my way to the coffeepot. The saint of a man had it brewed already. Pouring a cup, I walked to my table on the other side of my L-shaped peninsula island in my kitchen.

  He joined me with all the ingredients for our breakfast, setting a plate before me. “So, tell me, foxy, how did you sleep?”

  “With you next to me, I slept so peaceful.”

  Stabbing a couple of pieces of French toast, he dropped them on my plate. “Does that mean we can talk about something a little uncomfortable as we’re shoving our face with carbs and fruit?”

  “More uncomfortable than you telling me you were bisexual?” I had a small smirk on my face, but he was back to the solemn stance from last night.

  “Well, sort of but first, I wanted to tell you, I like you. Like falling for you by the second. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

  “Ah, Jack Calypso, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” I teased, and he continued to wear the same solemn look.

  “And if I was, what would you say?”

  I slammed my hand down on his a little more forceful than I meant, but I wanted him to see my excitement. “I’d say hell yes. I like you, too, and I’d love to see where this could go.” His face had not changed. “But you don’t look happy.”

  This made him smile, when he began, “It’s not the impression I meant to give you. It’s just that I need to be honest with you, so I have one more hard thing to confess.”

  What else could he have to share? My own face began to match his from earlier.

  “If we are building toward something, you have to know I can’t have children. I mean, I know this might be premature, but I want you to have all the facts.”

  It had not even been a blip on the radar. Did I want more kids if I found the one? I took in a deep intake of air, then let it out while I tried to ready my thoughts. “Wow, yeah, you just let it all out. And I appreciate your honesty. I mean, are you against children in general?”

  His smirk changed to an out-and-out smile. “If I was in a forever relationship and my partner wanted a child, I’d be open to adoption. I loved Maggie and Bridget even though they weren’t my biological children. It’s different now, but there’s still a bond. Again, it was my own self-loathing that caused me to put a label on it when they were born. They weren’t biologically mine, so I convinced myself they could never be mine. But I don’t believe this now.”

  This man and his utter honesty floored me. “Well, counselor, I don’t think this little challenge should affect the fact that you want me to be your girlfriend, so yes, as of right now, I’m yours.”

  His shoulders relaxed at my declaration, but the tough conversation was just beginning. “But, Jack…” My tone got his attention. “It doesn’t have to be today, but I’d like you to share the story of…” I trailed off because I was asking him to relive one of the worst days of his life.

  “My leg?” He finished for me, and I nodded. He didn’t stop, and he continued to cut his French toast. “It’s something I don’t talk about often, and I don’t ever mention it in conversation.” Pouring a cup of OJ, he took a quick sip of his juice. “It was a routine call, moving from one post to another, and we took fire. We crashed, I was pinned, and everyone who could get out was killed. I had no choice but to stay there, and when the insurgents left, I thought I’d die, too.”

  My entire body broke out in a sweat, and tears swelled in my eyes. Pushing to my feet, I swung around th
e side of the table, then dropped to my knees and pulled his hands in mine.

  “Foxy, I need you to understand how much I trust you for me to share this. Cami and Dane knew, of course. And my parents, who were alive at the time, were told and met me in Bethesda at the military hospital. I’d just started my second year as a lawyer when 9/11 occurred. I joined six months later, then went to officer training school and started as a second lieutenant. I’d planned to switch over to the JAG Corps after six years. I wanted to make it my life because I was built for the military. And I’d been accepted, considering I’d been a practicing lawyer. It was my last week of patrols.”

  I pulled his face to mine. “You need to know, I’m honored you’re sharing this with me. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” Fuck, sorry was so insignificant compared to the pain he continued to live with.

  “I heard my friends die—unable to do anything about it. My best friend, Mitchell, was one of five who were killed. It took four hours for a search party to be launched. I was in bad shape. After being medevacked to Germany, I stayed there for six weeks until I could get back to the States. I was discharged when my dream was to live the Army life. I felt stripped from everything I’d worked for. My parents died a year later. Being an only child, my first boss from before the military offered me a job. I never was one for litigation but had to deal with a case that got thrown in my lap—a simple divorce or so I was told until I went against the cockiest lawyer I’d ever met who took my client for all he was worth. The asshole deserved it since he’d cheated on his wife, but the lawyer had impressed me. He asked me out for a drink, then told me he was attracted to me and that his wife would be, too. He took me home, and we became serious very quickly. It took me six months to share the story of my leg with them, though it was obvious I’d lost it with me practically living with them.”

  He pulled his hand around his neck, working out kinks, as he started again. “I’ve had this so long, it’s second nature. I’ve learned to overcome many things amputees deal with. I don’t struggle often with the prosthetic itself, unless I’m caught unaware, like I had been with Bodhi. But I run, hike, even play racquetball with my buddy Calvin.

  He paused, turning his head down to mine. “It’s the hidden scars that really get me. I’d never dealt with my PTSD, and after several years, I couldn’t be what they needed because I was not who I needed to be for me. Moving to LA, I started working in entertainment law but went on a six-month journey to find myself. I ended up residing with a faction of monks who specialized in lost souls like myself. It was enlightening. Then my business partners tracked me down, needing my expertise to get a man out of his contract. To my surprise, the man was dating Cami and Dane, the triad I had willingly left. They found their forever, and it wasn’t me. I realized something would be better for me on the other side of all of this, and if that someone is you, then I’d go through that hell over and over again.”

  His eyes, too, were filled with tears. “Hell, Clara, I tell you what, I know we just met, but something about you feels right, meant to be, and if that scares you, I’m sorry, but I won’t ever shy away from telling someone how I feel.”

  Cupping his cheeks with my hands, I touched my lips to his in a sweet little kiss that fooled him at first. My tongue gained access, and both he and I kissed like this was our last kiss, a kiss steeped with so much fervor and passion, I never wanted to let go. He was the first to pull back, his eyes hooded with lust, but if I searched farther, it was the beginning of love, too.

  “Never hold back from me, Jack. Never hold back with me,” I almost begged.

  “Never, sexy. It’s a promise I’ll always honor.” And with his last declaration, he stood, leading me back to my room. Breakfast was a nice touch, but my need wasn’t for food; it was in all of him.

  I hadn’t expected to fall back to sleep after Jack and I tenderly made love. It felt weird to call it making love, but after three times in his presence, I was falling and falling fast. Whatever I chose to call the act, he was affectionate and vulnerable.

  I woke to pounding on the door and at least ten text alerts. “Jack, wake up, we fell back to sleep.” Grabbing my phone, I felt my heart pounding like Bodhi was pounding on my door.

  Bo: Clara, are you okay? We’ve been outside for ten minutes, and Declan is starting to cry.

  I didn’t want to call him and hoped a text would suffice.

  Me: Bodhi, I’m so sorry. Can you run to the little diner downstairs? I’ll be there in ten minutes.

  The pounding had stopped, but he was typing, and this was the last thing I wanted. I was not remotely close to sharing Declan with Jack yet. It would take a while, and it was a conversation I had to have with Bodhi, too. But more so, I didn’t want to rub my new relationship with Jack in Bo’s face. I might still be angry about his reaction to me with another guy, but I didn’t want to hurt my ex-husband.

  Bo: Are you not home?

  Shit, he was going to make me spell it out.

  Me: Bo, could you please just meet me downstairs at the diner in ten minutes?

  I stared at the phone, hoping he’d just do what I asked. My eyes were on Jack’s bare ass as he attached his prosthetic right below his knee, then pulled a pair of jeans up over his ass.

  “No boxers?” I asked, teasing him.

  “Yeah, no time, but could I at least brush my teeth?” Winking at him, I pushed to my feet, grabbing my sports bra, yoga pants, and my NYU sweatshirt.

  “Yeah, we’re already busted, so might as well do it with clean teeth,” I countered, holding my phone up to read Bodhi’s response.

  Bodhi: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. He’s over, isn’t he?

  I chose not to respond to my ex and followed Jack into my bathroom as we both brushed our teeth together. Somehow, something this ordinary filled me with the most joy.

  11

  Bodhi

  He stayed the night? Already? Those thoughts penetrated my mind as I picked Dec up and moved him away from the door and essentially, his mother.

  “I stay for Mommy.” He’d been screaming so loud, a couple of Clara’s neighbors opened their doors to make sure I wasn’t kidnapping this child.

  “His mother is running late,” I explained, and it had been the reason apparently, but she was still home. I wouldn’t tell my son this, or he’d lose his shit. “She’s going to meet us at the diner downstairs. I’ll get you a treat,” I added for good measure, and somehow, this stopped his screaming.

  I wasn’t interested in coming face-to-face with Jack. For so many more reasons than it being the reminder that Clara was moving on. “We’ll get something yummy, if you can promise to be good, son?”

  He nodded his head at me, and had even reached for my hand. “Thanks, buddy,” I added, and we were off in the elevator on our way to meet Clara, and it was my hope in all of it that I’d avoid Jack.

  I hadn’t gotten his touch out of my system last night. And because I was an asshole and hurt my ex-wife, I must be a sadist for finding that his touch awakened my almost dead heart and dead cock. I couldn’t say I’d been abstinent since the divorce. I loved a good fuck, and even though I hadn’t gone and whored myself out, I loved the affection of a man for a night or two. I couldn’t look at another woman because my hope was still with Clara, but I wondered now since I’d accepted we would never be more than a couple who had once been married and shared a child together if I’d start dating women again.

  I still loved Clara. So what did I do? I made it my mission to continue hurting her. She was a good woman, and from what I understood about Jack Calypso, he was a good man. I’d gotten a little more information from Dom when I promised I wouldn’t tell Clara about Jack’s sexuality, and a part of it hurt so deep since this man—who was beginning to claim the heart of the woman who still owned my heart—was indeed a saint.

  Taking a seat at the window, I grabbed a menu, looking for healthy options for Declan. We’d splurge now and then, but the kid didn’t get the sweets he would ha
ve been able to eat if it wasn’t for his diabetes, and I smiled when I’d remembered they had frozen yogurt.

  “How about some…” I was about to offer up the one thing we’d let him get when something from the outside pulled at my attention. On the streets of Chicago, walking past the window where we sat, was Jack. I didn’t look away, and when my gaze followed him, he stopped and rotated his body to mine. A shy smirk covered his face as I offered a feeble attempt at a wave. And when my eyes locked on his, I couldn’t break our stare fast enough.

  “Hey, guys,” Clara called out, sliding into the booth next to Dec. “Sorry, buddy, Mommy was running late, but I’m here now. You know this place has the frozen yogurt you like. Want some?”

  Declan nodded his head up and down, giving us his answer. I couldn’t look at her, nor did I want to discuss any of this, but when she let out a long and deep sigh, it was clear we would be doing just that.

  “Bo?” Her tone was changed from yesterday’s I could kill you pitch to her normal everyday voice.

  “Yeah?” I tried to sound aloof, especially after my silent interaction with Jack.

  “I’m sorry.” A weak smile was all I gave her but she continued, “We’d always said we’d discuss a plan when either one of us was ready to introduce a girlfriend or boyfriend to Declan.”

  Popping my head up, I slammed my fist on the table, garnering both Clara’s and Dec’s attention.

  “Are you kidding me right now?” It came out louder than I meant for it to, and many patrons turned their heads.

  Her eyes narrowed on me. “Are you kidding me right now, Bodhi Chambers?” I didn’t answer her. “I didn’t mean now or even next week, but you need to prepare yourself because it will most likely happen. I’m sorry—this is not meant to hurt you. But I’m moving on, and I think you need to, also.”