Color Blind Read online

  I flip him off and though we end up calling it a tie in the end, playing basketball with Iz has been one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.

  11

  Israel

  Alice in Chains’ “Rooster” is floating through my speakers as I’m working out in my home gym with visions of a lonely weekend on my mind. Lang is out of town and before Liz stormed her way back into my life, I had plans with someone I’d been sort of dating. I don’t want to go to this benefit with her.

  It’s when Kendra calls me, begging me to take Nevaeh for the weekend that I jump all over it. After canceling my plans for the benefit, I meet Kendra at the airport. Paul has an impromptu working vacation and Kendra wants to tag along—it’s in Cabo so I don’t blame her. Plus, Nev and I for the weekend is all I need.

  On my way out the door, I grab my to-go suitcase, along with Nev’s and have a great idea. Lang is on his way to San Francisco and we can hitch a ride with him. Of course, I can’t get a hold of him. I call the pilot he uses in order for him to add Nev and I to the manifest.

  After picking up Nev, we use the same entrance to the security gate I’ve used for team trips. I’m stopped briefly, just to tell me they are waiting for me. I’m sure Lang has his panties in a bunch. When he calls me, I pick up long enough to say, “I don’t want to hear it. I’m on my way.” I end the call before he can say any more.

  With the stairs open for our arrival, Lang leans his scrawny little body out of the plane to walk down and help Nev with her luggage. “Fuck, Iz, I’ve been trying to call you. There’s a reason, bro.”

  “Uncle Lang, you’re saying bad words.”

  Kissing his goddaughter, he begins, “Nev, nothing worse than what your mom says.” She only shrugs in agreement and I can’t help but laugh. It’s true.

  “K, I’m here now, you probably wanted to be in the air an hour ago.” Lang dawdles for a second, allowing my daughter to board the plane first and runs his hand through his hair. I think he may light into me but there’s nothing. I follow Nev.

  Taking the steps two at a time, Lang is behind me. “True, but that’s not the reason. Will you fucking stop, Iz?!” he yells. I’m in no mood for his little bitch attack. Walking onto the plane, it’s then I see the two reasons he wanted to warn me. First, he has fucking Hudson Barrett on the plane. But worse, he’s flirting with Liz, my Liz. Of course, I had no idea she’d be on the plane either.

  Looking over my shoulder, Lang’s cocky smile and words put me on edge. “I tried to fucking warn you, Iz.” She doesn’t see me, yet Hudson does, standing to act like the better person when I know his intentions. When he stands, it’s not lost on me that his arm had been draped around Liz, my Liz. The fucker hasn’t changed. It’s the same as when he couldn’t wait for me to clear out my locker before he moved in.

  This is the first time I’ve seen her since the night I interrupted her with that goofy lawyer friend of hers. Liz raises her eyes, and I only see the purple that swims in them. We don’t break contact while I propel toward her. I’ll be breaking up this little thing Hudson thinks he has with my Liz. Now, aware that everyone is observing the silent moment we’re sharing, her light complexion flushes as her eyes break contact with mine.

  “Daddy, where are you sitting?” My daughter’s voice breaks the gaze I have on Liz and I’m transported back to reality. I point to the bench seats behind where Hudson and Liz sit together, him too fucking close to my Buttercup. Candy is seated across from me and it doesn’t take Lang long before he settles in close to her, placing his arm behind her. His fucking grin is something I’d like to bitch slap off his face right now.

  My eyes bore into the head of Hudson as he leans into Liz. I know her well as she, too, leans in, smiling at him. Hudson is not Liz’s type and she’s not one to purposely make me jealous but people do change. However, it could be how I left her earlier in the week that causes her to catch my attention in this way.

  I don’t have long to concentrate on Liz’s very real attempts to cause me jealousy and take Hudson by the shirt and throw him out of our moving plane when my sweet daughter asks, “Daddy, does Uncle Lang have a new girlfriend?” loud enough that Liz and Candy laugh.

  “Oh, honey, I’m not sure, but this is Candy. She works with Liz, you met her earlier in the week.”

  Children can be too honest. “That’s right, but I thought her name was Eliza. How come I’ve never met her?” And my sweet daughter lacks both discretion and the ability to whisper.

  “She just moved here,” I reply, as if this conversation is over.

  “Then how come I heard Mommy tell Paul that she’s always been in your marriage before you divorced?” Lang, who must be drinking his signature scotch, spits my way and Candy snickers. I even hear Hudson chuckle but seeing the back of Liz’s shoulders, they instantly stiffen at my daughter’s words.

  “Okay, remind me to teach you what tact is, okay?” I can’t be mad at the honesty of a child; though she has no idea the can of worms she’s just opened.

  Arriving at my mom’s mini-mansion that I bought for her and dad my first year in the pros, I’ve talked Langston into tagging along with us for dinner with my mama. Of course, he brings Candy, leaving fucking Hudson and Liz to themselves at the hotel. This little fact is driving me mad. She’s technically not mine and hasn’t been in years, but hell, I can’t tell my heart this when all it does is ache for Liz.

  My mama is on the front porch waiting for us. When I told her of my little impromptu visit, she went out and got the ingredients to my favorite dish, roast beef and mashed potatoes. She gives us a wave, bypassing me. Of course, since having Nevaeh, I have become second fiddle when she almost attacks my girl. It’s not like we weren’t here just two weeks ago. Pulling her hair back, Mama says her signature phrase when it’s been longer than forty-eight hours since she’s seen her granddaughter. “Let me take a long look at my girl.” Then she brings her into her welcoming arms and Nevaeh acts as though she can’t breathe.

  The corners of her mouth curl upward when Lang steps out of his vehicle. When I shared with Mama he was coming but was also bringing not just any girl, but THE girl, she laughed her hearty chuckle, saying, “Miracles never cease.”

  Looking up, she bypasses me a second time when she explains, “I just saw you two weeks ago. I haven’t seen Langston in forever.” She does the same thing to Lang when she cups his cheeks and exclaims, “Let me take a look at you, Langston. You gotta come visit more often, son.” The truth is, Langston is a son to my mama. He had a horrible childhood and only came to Stanford because the smug SOB is a real genius.

  “Mama Laita,” what he’s always called my mom, “I’d like you to meet Candace Parker.”

  Mama steps back as if she’s seen a ghost and looks toward me—then at Candy. It’s only then I understand she is seeing a ghost. Besides myself, there was no one on this earth that was more devastated over my breakup with Liz.

  Walking over to her, I place my hands on her shoulders. “Oh, Mama, I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you that Candace is actually Liz Declan’s younger sister.”

  Mama can’t take her eyes off of Candy but then looks at me with her deep browns I see in my own daughter’s eyes and know she’s waiting for an explanation. I’m not sure how much I want to get into it with my already curious daughter behind me. “Nev, can you run inside and get settled? I’ll be in after a couple minutes.”

  When Nev turns to leave, I hear my daughter say, “Man, I miss all the fun!” She’s quite observant.

  “I don’t understand, Israel. Is Liz back in California?” She turns to Candace. “I’m sorry, honey, I’m Isadora Laita. I met you when you were a little girl but you probably don’t remember. But wow, the resemblance is uncanny.”

  Candy laughs a high-pitched squeal and it’s the first time I realize it’s the same laugh as Liz’s. “We get it all the time, we’re honestly a carbon copy of one another, except for the eyes.”

  Her statement is true, it’s really the o
nly difference. Mama looks at me. “Where’s Liz? Is she here?”

  The words are forming on my tongue as Lang interrupts me. “Actually, she’s the new lawyer that’s representing some of my clients. Iz was supposed to be her first client, but obviously with their history, we’re looking for other options.”

  Mama turns to me and I have seen Isadora Laita enough in my life and know I’m about to get a lecture of a lifetime. “We’ll address Liz in a second—believe me. But you’re vying for a competitive contract with two different networks and you don’t have a lawyer yet?” Mama has always been my unofficial manager.

  “Mama Laita, I think I found one. Monday, we’ll know if he or she is a fit for Iz,” Lang interrupts and at least one of Mama’s concerns is now at rest.

  “Okay, back to Liz, is she here in San Fran?” With her hands resting on her hips, my mama isn’t messing about.

  Again, the SOB is too quick on his feet. He’s gonna land me in the doghouse with Mama. I’m thirty-five years old and this woman in front of me still evokes the fear of God.

  “Yes, she’s here with a contract deal. We have a meeting tomorrow with the Forty-Niners. She’s back at the hotel for the night.” The way Lang says it reminds me she’s alone with Hudson Barrett and my insides start to seethe.

  Mama’s entire body twists around and she’s now firmly planted in front of me. “So, Israel Naphtali Laita, your ex-girlfriend, the sister to Langston’s girl and the woman I loved more than you at times, is in town and you didn’t think I’d wanna see her?”

  “Actually, I wasn’t sure how I was gonna tell you, Mama, but I was.” I rub the back of my neck to ease the tension this conversation is causing. I honestly feel skewered like a shish kebab with her unflinching smirk.

  Mama now crosses her arms under her chest and I know I’m in for a tongue-lashing. “And you didn’t think I would ask about her when I met her beautiful sister?”

  I hang my head in defeat. Six-five and two hundred and thirty pounds—I’m still scared to death of the woman who brought me into this world.

  She starts nodding and points her finger at me and I know I’m done for. “You best hang that head in shame. I tell you what, you better bring that girl back for dinner or you can just stop and get yourself a burger at McDonald’s—you hear me?”

  I decide it’s time as an adult I stick up for myself. “Mama, we didn’t have an amicable breakup. She chose her family money over me.”

  Before I have a chance to catch Candy’s sudden change in stature, I hear Lang utter, “Oh, no.”

  In a split second, she’s in my face. And though she’s just as tall as her sister, if not even taller with her heels, she’s still an inch or two shorter than I am. “If you believe that about my sister, you never really loved or understood her at all.”

  Mama has moved closer to Lang, gladly letting me have another beat down from someone other than her when I hear Mama whisper in her non-whisper, “Oh, Lang, I really like her.”

  “Candy,” I begin, trying to backpedal. “I didn’t mean any disrespect to you or Liz. It’s just that you were so young, you don’t know what happened.”

  I’m not sure how women do it in four-inch heels, Kendra did it all the time and now Candy is on her tiptoes as close to my nose as she can get. “Oh, I know enough. I know my father was a racist bastard who used the love she had for me against her—the only thing that could have broken you up. I know my sister talked for years about a love bigger than anything in the world, but gave it up for her own reasons. I know the more and more my father used me to get Liz to do his bidding, the more and more she would, in order to barter with my SOB of a dad. It was all that Liz could do to raise me and not that step-witch he married only three months after our mother died. And then when she thought she was in the clear, she married the worst monster in the world because Daddy forced her hand. So, yes, you’re right, I don’t know what you do. As a matter of fact, I know a fuck ton more than you think.”

  So much information is thrown at me all at once. Liz was married? Her dad used Candy against Liz? I remember the first time I saw a picture of Candy, Liz told me she’d do anything for her little sister.

  Mama clears her throat. “You best get to that hotel and bring me Liz if you want to have dinner with us. Until then, I’m gonna get to know this young lady Langston has brought home. I’ve gotta say, I love her already.” Mama gives me a kiss on the cheek and takes Candy by the arm into the house. I’m not even allowed to go in and say goodbye to Nev.

  Langston walks by me and only chuckles. I grab his arm. “Thanks, asshole, for having my back.”

  Raising one eyebrow my way, he says, “Iz, you know better than that. It’s about survival and no one is going to win against your mama, and anyway, I want her roast beef. I don’t need to be in the doghouse along with you.”

  Lang is fucking right, there’s no winning against my mama.

  16 years ago

  It has been one month since Liz appeared in my life. After the night I showed up at her dorm room, we’ve been inseparable; yet she won’t let me touch her. She seems scared but it’s not me she’s scared of. If I’m not at football practice or in class, I’m with her.

  It’s good for me because she pushes me in all the areas I’m weak. I’d rather sit and talk to her but she makes me study. I attempt to lace my fingers in her hands as she stares at me, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

  I don’t say anything, tipping her head to my own. “I was hurt, Iz. Pretty badly.” My eyes heat in rage when she touches my forearm. “Not like that. Just a fucker who used me to get what he wanted.” I try to comfort her and it’s on the tip of my tongue when she continues, “I know you’re not him. I care for you—more than I thought. Just be patient with me, please.”

  “Buttercup, you have my word.” I mean it, because if it takes Liz Declan five years to trust herself around me, I’ll wait; though I’m praying it’s not that long. My body has never ached for another person as it does for my Buttercup.

  12

  Liz

  Staring in the mirror, I don’t look away, or maybe I just won’t. If I stare more at the woman I’m trying to be, I can forget the girl I once was.

  What has gotten into me? Have I forgotten that I’m thirty-five years old and an adult? My fruitless flirting with Hudson is completely out of my character. It’s bad enough I can’t come clean with Iz after all these years—now I’ve stooped to a whole new low.

  As I replay my conversation with Hudson when we arrived at the hotel, I realize he’s not so creepy after all. “Eliza, I get it. I see a man in love and as much as Israel Laita hates me, I respect the man. Sure, you are gorgeous and funny and smart, but I won’t get in his way, even if you were so very pleasurable to flirt with.”

  Elizabeth Declan no longer exists, because my full name, on the lips of the two people in my life that tried to ruin me, is as vivid in my ears as Iz calling me Liz.

  The step-witch had a southern drawl that could be as sweet as our tea in the south or as goose bump-enhancing as nails on a chalkboard. Her tone hinged on who the person was. With me, it was always the latter. I didn’t think she could say Elizabeth in a more demeaning way. Then my father promised me to Neal, announcing he’d be my husband or he’d take Candace away from me.

  I was only lucky they never called me Liz, tainting the way Iz could effortlessly make me wet with just the one syllable of my name. It rolls off his tongue, enticing my hunger for him.

  Where’s the girl I was when I met Iz so long ago? She was gone the second Iz left with half of her heart. I laugh at me referring to myself in the third person and wonder how much more of a drama queen I could be.

  I used to laugh. Hell, I could laugh but more so, I could make those around me crack up with my quick wit. I have not held a basketball in years and hiking and climbing was once as much a part of me as the purple of my eyes.

  I’m still staring at myself trying to connect the Liz that Iz formed in me with the
Elizabeth my stepmother and ex-husband destroyed. Now, in my reflection, I understand Eliza Parker is the combination of both.

  I’m searching deep in my soul, thinking of how Iz could reach me so intimately, penetrating my eyes while roving his hands over the creamy ivory of my skin. Whenever our hands were interwoven, I could stare at the stark contrast of our skin forever. It was the most beautiful embodiment of the symbol of our love. We were so different on the outside but the color never once hindered our bond. Not until my father—and when I think of that day with the ultimatum he’d placed between Iz and myself…a loud knock breaks my concentration I have on the mirror in front of me.

  When I open the door, I’m staring at my past, as if a mirror has become the portal to what I let go of years ago. I’m face-to-face with the wonder in front of me whom I used to ogle for hours while he slept.

  “Iz?” I say, as if it’s truly a question, like I’m actually left wondering who this man is in front of me.

  “Whoa there, Buttercup, you look like you’re about to take someone’s head off.” Who the hell does he think the target is as we stand here at an impasse? I’m not in the mood to go round for round with him questioning my morals when it comes to my daddy’s money.

  “Give me a second and I may have some choice words for you. And by the way, I have not been your Buttercup for a long while.”

  I step back to give him entrance into my room, never one to let my personal life leak its way for the world to hear. With Iz’s lack of privacy, who knows if the paparazzi is lurking around the corner. Before I step away from him too much, I don’t see his hand reaching for mine until he’s holding onto me, and I love the warmth it brings.

  Not allowing me to break free from his grip, since his grasp is more powerful than mine, my body doesn’t travel very far. “Liz, let’s be real for one second. No matter what happened between us, you’ll always be my Buttercup.” Releasing my hand, he walks past me, and I’m left panting. His near body temperature can cause my own to do things no one has been able to for years.