Unfiltered Page 3

  After locking my house up, I head straight to my bedroom. Sleep may be difficult because he has awakened feelings in my body that have been dead for so long. I wanted to leave only because getting involved with a neighbor isn’t the best idea. This man’s lingering touch is something I am not willing to relinquish.

  Deafening bangs wake me at eight a.m. My first thought is to say fuck this and check into a hotel. I have the attractive doctor next door to thank for my tossing and turning last night. No matter how tired I am, sleep is impossible now.

  Coffee in hand, I walk out to the porch. I take in the cool air of the Spokane autumn. Nestled on the bed of the Spokane River only two hundred miles from the foothills of the Cascade Mountain Range, this city is the only place I wanted to raise a family after having my children. Living in Seattle during college and for the first couple of years of motherhood, I realized moving back home was where I wanted to be. Though at first, Eastern Washington may look like a nuclear bomb was detonated here, and is full of scab rock, it has a great hometown feel. It may be a stark difference to the evergreen that Seattle boasts but is laid back compared to the hustle and bustle of the big city.

  Before becoming engrossed in Jodi Picoult’s latest novel, I see Nick heading toward me in my peripheral.

  He is in shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. The top fits him nice and snug, and I see the rippling muscles underneath. As he jogs to my front porch, he is a little sweaty and out of breath. My pulse quickens as I am reminded of last night. “Not only do you cook, but you’re a morning person and you’ve already worked out?” He’s really pissing me off.

  “I was up about six-thirty. I had a feeling you’d be awake by now. If you’re tired, you can come over and take a nap at my house.”

  “Are you determined to get me into a bed of yours?” I cock my brow at him as I am aware of the nerves that bring me pleasure. For a second, I catch myself daydreaming of working his shirt over his head and getting my hands on his bare chest.

  “No way, I was just trying to be polite.” Giving me a quick wink, he says, “Well, I was being polite, but there is truth to your statement.” He walks up the steps and leans down to kiss me gently on the cheek and then laughs. “You don’t look like a morning person.”

  He is right but it is more of an attitude about morning. Though, my puffy eyes and bed head are great giveaways, too. “Oh yeah, Einstein, what gave that away?” I sneer at him but am surprised to see him grinning. My sarcasm doesn’t bother him.

  “Hey, it’s loud over here. Come share the morning with me on my porch. This is one of the reasons I bought this house.”

  He really wants me near him. He comes across as cocky at times but he also shows vulnerability in the chase.

  “I bought my house for that same reason. Can I brush my teeth over at your house since my water is shut off?”

  “Yes, that is fine but don’t get gussied up on my account; I’m sweaty from my morning run.”

  After I brush my teeth, I sit near him on the porch. “I slept like crap so I may just take you up on your offer for a nap,” I state bluntly.

  “Of course. Any particular reason you slept so poorly?” he asks. His genuine concern warms my heart.

  “Oh, gee, I wonder. There is this strange man next door who is trying to seduce me.”

  “Strong words! Getting to know you would be a better description of what this strapping young man is attempting,” he quips. He pulls me near as he creates a space near him where I fit perfectly. As he interlaces his hands with mine, he says, “Tell me about your children.”

  I give him a cynical smile because my heart is freshly broken by them. Yet, a mother’s love is always unconditional and I forge ahead with my story, though the hurt is still real. “Rose is seventeen and is off the charts smart, but she has hooked up with this guy she barely knows. Kai is sixteen and loves deeply. He is getting over a bad break-up, choosing weed and turning his back on sports, which are his passion.”

  We sit in silence for a while after I briefly explain what has alienated me from my kids. It is not awkward at all. He only strokes my arm as I tenderly place my hand on his knee.

  From out of nowhere, I say, “I have been told on several occasions I am the world’s biggest bitch; just fair warning.”

  “A little bitchy-ness from time to time has never bothered me, Justine,” Nick quips as he winks.

  I pull away from him, looking directly into his eyes. “I am not someone who can put up with a domineering man. So, do us a favor and let me know now and we can part ways.” He shakes his head “no,” and with a small chuckle, he assures me that he is not.

  It is his turn to look back at me. “Justine, I want to get to know you better,” Nick says, closing the gap between us.

  I whisper a question I already know the answer to, but want to hear his reply one last time. “You find me attractive then?”

  “Um, very.” He inches even closer to me and extends his hand out. I understand what this means and I take it, bringing my lips to his. “I am looking forward to getting to know you.” He gently kisses my cheek as we hear the engine of a car pull up near my house.

  Anxiety assaults me as I recognize Rafe’s car, but it calms quickly the second I see Hildy step out.

  “Expecting someone?” Nick asks, pointing to Rafe’s blond bombshell of a wife.

  “That’s Rafe’s wife; don’t drool too much.” I direct my attention toward the woman who is now responsible for the halt on my house as I see all the plumbers adjust their gaze to her ass. “Hildy, I’m over here.”

  Walking toward us, she stops shy of his porch, standing in front of the wood slats, looking at me face to face. “Holy shit, Justine honey, what happened to your house?” she asks, a hint of her Swiss accent presenting itself.

  “Some sort of major water main break. Thankfully, the good neighbor over here caught it and called a plumber for me before it got out of hand.” Hils is a nosey person, and I am sure she is turning around every reason as to why I am hanging out with this attractive man. “Nick just moved in.”

  “Nice to meet you, Hildy,” he says, smiling.

  “And you, too, Nick,” she replies as she sizes him up.

  “So, Hils, what brings you here?” I wonder with apprehension. Worry swims inside me, concerning Kai and Rose.

  Pausing to examine Nick, she certainly is not buying the casual neighborly relationship. But she continues without a single question. “Oh, sweetie, I hate to just pop in like this. Rafe said he texted you.”

  “My phone’s back at the house. It’s noisy over there, so I decided to hang out on Nick’s porch while it wasn’t so damn cold out.”

  “Rose needs her skis for tomorrow, and Kai asked for the one game he left here. Rafe thought it was better after the blow-up the other night that a neutral party come to retrieve them.”

  “Wisdom, I guess, Hils. Thanks.” I only shrug my shoulders at the statement. I am still livid enough to slug Rafe if I see him. “There isn’t much left in the rooms. Feel free to grab whatever you want.” The absence of my children throbs like an open wound.

  “Thanks, sweetie. I am really sorry it happened like this. I don’t agree with how it was handled,” Hildy coos, trying to comfort me. That is her nature. I always refer to Hildy as the Switzerland of our functioning dysfunctional family, which is ironic being she is in fact Swiss.

  “That’s nice of you to say, Hils. I’m glad the kids have you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll see if we can get something planned soon for you all to meet and talk. I am working on it and by the way, I love my husband so much but if he would have said those words to me, I wouldn’t have missed with the vase,” she says then walks toward my house.

  “Wow, you threw a vase?” I am not sure if he is fearful or impressed.

  Still, not one to apologize for my actions, especially when the SOB deserved it, I simply reveal, “I have a good aim. Always have. I am an excellent marksman, and I was a pitcher in softball thro
ughout college. If I wanted to hit him, I would have.”

  “I am positive I don’t ever want to get on your bad side?” he says, repeating this statement as a question.

  I am amused that he is entertained over my exchange with Hils. “No, that is not a place most people want to find themselves.”

  He only laughs at my comment but continues. “How old is Hildy, like ten?” he asks as a small smirk crosses his face.

  “Twenty-nine. They have a little girl together. She’s two—Margarite. You can tell Hils is Swiss, though, all neutral. Who knew that my ex-husband’s new wife would be my biggest ally? I didn’t want to like her, believe me. But she is just too damn lovable. Hell, if I swung that way, I might just marry her.” He can’t help but laugh at the visual I paint for him. “And you don’t have to act as if she’s not knockout gorgeous, by the way.”

  “Not my type.” He shrugs as I shoot him a skeptical look. I hear the banging of tools, evident the work is now focused on the task at hand and not Hildy’s backside.

  “If you say so. If she comes back, tell her I’m lying down. I can’t keep my eyes open after the shift I had yesterday plus whatever number you pulled on me.” I stand up to stretch. “Where would you like me to sleep?”

  He smiles slyly. “Well, that is a loaded question if I ever heard one.” Walking into his house, I start to sing along with Steve Miller and the “Joker” as it plays in the background. Turning around, I shoot him a quick glare.

  “Let me rephrase it then. Where is your guest room?” I ask more directly.

  “At the end of the hallway, but my bed is more comfortable.”

  “All right,” I say slowly, without a fight.

  “You might as well test it out; I have a feeling you’ll end up in it, eventually.”

  “You sure are confident, aren’t you?” I ask.

  “More hopeful than anything.”

  “Hey, thanks, Nick.” I turn toward his room and then a thought pops into my head. “You didn’t by chance orchestrate all this just to get me alone?” I laugh at the thought.

  “No, I do wish my brain was that imaginative, though. Sleep well, Justine,” he says, turning off the lights.

  I don’t remember falling asleep.

  4

  Justine

  Fear grips me tightly as I run, tearing toward something and away from those chasing me. I can’t see it. No one is helping me. I am dashing away from the shadowy terror as fast as my legs can carry me. I look to either side of me and see the people that, at one time, were closest to me, cheering as if they are rooting me on in a race. But it isn’t a race. I am running for my life. Those closest to me stand on the sidelines but no one is helping me. Then I see Rose and Kai. Rafe is there, too, along with Lorelei, my best friend whom I consider a sister. Even my own parents are watching me. Why aren’t they helping me? They are standing there as something is about to hurt me. Then they are gone and the one chasing me is suddenly in front of where I am. No one is there in the end to save me. Where did all my family go? Why do they always leave? Why do I always get abandoned, I wonder, as something awful is about to grasp hold of me.

  “Justine, Justine!”

  At my name, I jolt awake, my heart pounding as though trying to escape my chest. The bed is softer than mine, and the tear-soaked pillow smells strangely familiar. A bead of sweat tickles me as it trails down my cheek. Where the hell am I?

  “You okay?” Nick’s voice is thick with concern.

  “Good lord, what an asinine dream. I don’t think I’ve had a nightmare in years. Sorry.” I am sweating and shaking as I try to wipe the wetness from my face.

  “I hope I didn’t startle you,” Nick apologizes, pulling me into a warm and tender embrace. His large body calms the demons I had been battling in the dream. In this instance, I am protected.

  I lean back to stare into his eyes. How is it I have known him less than a couple days and his mocha eyes already calm me so easily? “I’m glad you were here. My heart's still racing. I’m up now, that’s for sure.” I try to shake it off, but the nightmare was so real. I am fine being alone, or so I keep telling myself. Why is this bothering me so badly?

  “You want to talk about it?” he asks, still holding me close.

  “Not particularly.” I try to turn away from him, to not reveal any vulnerability, but he won’t let me go.

  “Get these a lot?” he asks sympathetically.

  “I just said I don’t,” I snap.

  “Well, I can tell you are still a little shaken.” He is unfazed by my hardened exterior. He has let up on his grasp on me, but he is still near me.

  “I’m certainly a little frazzled but it will dissipate. I guess my kids leaving me has affected me more than I realized.”

  “I can see,” he says quickly.

  “So how long have I been asleep?” I ask as I casually try to lessen the panic that surrounds me.

  “Two hours.”

  I abruptly halt all discussions cornering my dream. I can’t go back to it, not right now. I stand, shaking off the encounter. “Let me head home and check on the workers’ progress and see if I can shower over there. If not, do you mind if I use your shower? I’m soaked.”

  “Sure, of course,” he assures me, and I hang onto his words a little bit more than I should.

  “Let me change your bedding,” I offer.

  “Don’t worry about it, really. Seriously, it is fine,” he says, giving me one last smile.

  Feelings of unworthiness spill over from the dream. I race from the room without a backward glance, though in my peripheral, I sense Nick’s eyes glued to me.

  After speaking to Carlos about my continuing plumbing saga, I hurry to my closet, hoping the simple task of choosing clothes will calm my jittery nerves. On the way back to Nick’s, a solitary leaf falls from the tree, reminding me of the current state of my life. Isolation never feels good.

  Returning to Nick’s house, I knock on the door but hear water running, so I go on inside when I find the door is unlocked. “Nick?” I call out but doubt he can hear me.

  As I stand in the house, with nothing to do, I see the whisky he seems fond of and decide to pour myself a shot in order to calm my still raging nerves. As the thick and smooth liquor soothes my shaking body, I am startled by a voice out of nowhere.

  “Um, may I help you?” I turn quickly, glad the whisky glass is empty or I surely would have spilled it on myself.

  Glancing at this person in front of me, I say, “Hi, there. I’m Justine from next door.” I wonder if she can hear my heart pounding.

  A good-looking man in his thirties enters the room with a smile which gives me reassurance they somehow belong here. “Emma, obviously this is someone your dad knows. Don’t be too rude, honey. I think you scared her,” the man says to the young lady, now with her hands on her hips.

  Taking in a sigh of relief, I say, “Oh, so you’re Emma. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Adopting a loud and authoritative voice, she almost shouts, “Well, I can’t say the same.” The beauty with Nick’s eyes all but spits at me. His daughter is breathtaking, but is staunchly standing her ground as she clenches her teeth and crosses her hands. Will Emma pee on the rug to make a statement?

  “My water main broke yesterday, and your dad has been kind enough to offer his shower,” I explain.

  “So, it was you! I hope Carlos has treated you well,” her husband says.

  “Yes, thank you so much. He’s wonderful. I’ve used him before,” I say, mildly enjoying the look of surprise and annoyance on Emma’s face.

  “What am I missing?” Emma asks as she narrows her eyes at me like she is throwing invisible darts my way.

  Her rudeness startles me. Maybe that’s what he means when he says he’s used to a little bitchy from time to time.

  Emma’s husband explains the situation and introduces himself. “I’m Tyler. Sorry, we’re still working on Emma’s manners at times.” He playfully turns to his wife, bringing her in
for a side hug, squeezing her lovingly. “Please excuse my wife; she’s a bit overprotective of her dad. When I came to work for him, she thought I was planning a hostile takeover of his business. It took me a long time to convince her she was the only hostile person I wanted to take over,” he explains while he gives her a teasing slap on her ass and leans down, kissing her on the cheek.

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you both,” I say as politely as possible.

  Where is Nick? This is getting a bit unpleasant. His daughter is still not sure of me and is clearly showing her dominance, baring her teeth like the alpha female of the family. I want to put her in her place but I understand I am on her turf, so to speak.

  Nick comes out of his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Justine, are you still here? I hope so, I am sort of used to you hanging around a little,” he hollers as he rounds the corner and sees his daughter and son-in-law making forced chitchat with me. Emma turns to her dad while she clenches her hands to her hips.

  “Just a neighbor?” Emma murmurs under her breath just loud enough for me to hear.

  “I see you’ve met my new neighbor, Justine,” Nick says, and his eyes portray amusement as he watches both his daughter and myself.

  “I think I’ll get in the shower now,” I say quickly. “It was nice to meet you, Emma, and you, too, Tyler.” As I walk by Nick, I look at him and whisper, “She’s mad.” I don’t have to know his daughter to understand female angst.

  His room is right off the main living space of the house, within earshot of the madness. Remembering Nick is only in a towel, I rummage for a pair of shorts and a shirt from his dresser, opening the door just enough to get his attention.

  “Thanks.” He smiles as he graciously takes them. I crack the door slightly. I can’t miss the live entertainment.

  5

  Nick

  “Do you want to tell me what’s on your mind now or can I get dressed first?” I ask, leaning against the back of the couch. I am glad Justine has become acquainted with the number one lady in my life. I have loved her without fault since the day they placed this bundle of sweetness in my arms, but she is a bit challenging to say the least.