Unfiltered Page 13

  I see them eyeing one another and Rose turns to Kai, as he is in the back seat. I try to ease the tension they feel at the idea of being thrust into my family. “I get it, you two, I really do. It won’t hurt my feelings for you two to bow out. But I will tell you, Annie and her family are really nice people, and Emma’s husband is, as you know, a hoot. Emma, too, is fun when you get past that exterior of hers. Either way, I promise to feed you.”

  I put the car in drive, heading toward my house. I see from the rearview mirror Kai in the back seat nudging Rose, who is sitting next to me. She is glaring back in silence for a couple minutes until she gets my attention, “Hey, Nick, that’s fine. We know you make Mom happy, and I guess I sort of owe you since I tried to kill you.”

  I laugh. “Well, I was not going to use that one to my advantage, but now since you mention it...”

  I find by the end of dinner that my daughter takes Justine’s words to heart as she is more open to Kai and Rose. It isn't lost on me how well Kai connects with Annie’s twin daughters. When we start toward home and Annie and her family are following us, Kai asks, “So how old are Emma’s sisters?”

  “Whoa, dude, Lila and Jane are like my girls, too,” I warn, staring him down through the rearview mirror.

  Kai smirks at me. “I was just asking! They seem really sweet.”

  “Nice try there, kid. You forget, I, too, was your age once.”

  “All right, bro, duly noted.” Somehow, I have a feeling he won’t be taking my advice. However, in this brief time with Justine’s kids, they have found a way into my heart almost as fast as their mother has.

  24

  Justine

  I wake up to laughter and giggling and talking. I quickly open the front door and see Kai sitting on the porch with two very pretty, no, beautiful girls around his age. “Um, well, hi there,” I say.

  Acting as if it is two in the afternoon and not two in the morning, my son casually looks at me and smiles. “Hey, Mom, this is Lila and Jane, Emma’s sisters.”

  “Hi there, Ms. Hernandez. It is nice to meet you. Hope we didn’t wake you, we were just chatting. I’m Lila.”

  “And I am Jane,” a beautiful girl with long blond hair and green eyes says.

  Looking at these beautiful girls, I know exactly what is on my son’s mind. “You are the spitting image of your sister,” I say to Lila. “It is nice to meet you both, but I don’t want your mom getting upset that you are over here.”

  “Oh, no, not at all. She is apparently a lot like you. Now Uncle Nick—he would be mad. He is sort of a party pooper,” Lila explains.

  “Well, I see then, but I do think that maybe you all should head home soon. How about ten more minutes?”

  I shut the door and realize Kai is finally over his ex-girlfriend, Joss.

  In less than ten minutes, Kai walks in with a smile on his face. “Can you sleep, Mom?”

  Ignoring his concerns because I know it is a front, I say, “I think we should chat, son.”

  “Are you going to lecture me on Lila and Jane?”

  “No, just caution you. Those girls are very important to Nick. You hurt them and that will hurt Nick, okay?” He nods, then I continue, “Plus there are two. How do you choose?”

  “Well, I really like Jane.”

  “She is the blond? Lila is the brunette?” I clarify.

  “Yes, and Lila could sense I was interested in her sister, some sort of twin thing. Anyway, I will talk to Nick about it to make sure he is cool.”

  We both hear the door to my bedroom open. Kai immediately stands, walking right by Nick. He eyes my son but comes to find me first.

  “Was he just…”

  “Yes.”

  “Shit, that was what I was afraid of.”

  “Hey, he is respectful with girls. Sex is not the first thing on his mind.”

  “He’s a guy—yes, it is,” Nick claims boldly. “If he hurts one of those girls, I can’t guarantee your son will keep his place in my heart.”

  There is his warning to me about his temper again. “I get that, Nick, but Kai is a good kid. For Kai, he is about a connection. He has only slept with one girl, and they dated since they were fourteen. Really, he is not your typical boy.” I see Nick physically wince. “But he knows you care. He’s going to talk to you about it tomorrow out of respect.”

  “That is actually cool, I guess.” Taking my hand, he says, “I’m sorry, I will give Kai the benefit of the doubt. Jane is special to me. If something happens and he hurts her, I don’t want it to affect us. I don’t want my temper getting in the way.” Sure, I have seen his temper in a small little dose but I still can’t believe it can get as bad as he is claiming.

  “Honey, I am here, I am not going anywhere. I love you,” I say but he holds on tight to me, as if he needs this reassurance.

  It is Thanksgiving morning, my favorite holiday. It doesn’t come with all the hoopla of Christmas and I welcome this time to spend it with Nick and my kids. I wake to loudness in the kitchen way too early. Opening the door, I see Kai and Nick in their running shoes. “What the hell are you both doing up so early?”

  “Nick says he likes to run but someone has been preoccupying him. Then I offered to train him and he said no, he could train me.”

  I walk up to Nick, taking in his earthy citrus smell that only he can pull off and say, “So, you think you are going to school a sixteen-year-old star athlete?”

  He leans in toward my ear and whispers, “Absolutely not, but I thought it was a good way to get to know my girlfriend’s son better.” I begin to smile. “I want to know your kids because I am in this for the long haul, sweetheart.” This is something he keeps on saying daily to me. I am starting to believe him.

  “That must be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me before.” For once in my life, I can’t find the right words to articulate how much this gesture means to me.

  “Stick with me; you ain’t seen nothing yet,” he retorts and it is a line he likes to use a lot.

  I simply smile at Kai. “Be kind to him, son, I am fond of him,” I say as I laugh. “Where is Rose?”

  “Still in bed,” Kai informs me.

  Rose is like me—she holds the firm stance that mornings are awful and she tries to avoid them like the plague. “Like mother, like daughter.” I laugh. “I will be here, waking up with this coffee.”

  About a half hour after they leave, through the glass slits, I see Annette is at my front door. I briefly met her last night when they came over for coffee after dinner. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her much. “Hey, Justine. I was wondering if you would be up to company and a cup of joe this morning.”

  I really want some alone time this morning before enduring the harshness of my father, but Annette is important to Nick, which now makes her important to me. “Sure, I am not a morning person but I’m on my second cup of coffee. I may actually be tolerable.”

  It is awkward at first until we talk about the one common denominator that combines us. “Nick has barely mentioned his parents,” I say. Besides telling me earlier on in our relationship that they passed away suddenly, he barely mentions it.

  “I knew he wouldn’t share much, if at all. It is like an old wound when he opens it up; it is as if he is pouring salt in it. If it weren’t for Emma, I don’t think he would have survived. Emma gave him purpose again. After she was born, we gave it a try even though being parents at an early age didn’t bode well for our relationship. My own parents stepped in and did those things for Nick that only parents can do. They love him just as if they had raised him from birth.”

  Annette is Picasso in this moment, painting a picture of Nick I have not seen and her strokes are so vivid, talking more about his life in California and being orphaned so young. I start to understand him better and I am grateful to Annette.

  My posture immediately changes. I wasn’t sure what to think of Annette. Now I slide back in my chair, seeing a possible friendship with her down the road. “And just so you know
, I am secure with the relationship you and Nick have.” I share with her my relationship with Rafe and Hildy and all the similarities.

  “I really like you, Justine. I have to say. It is selfish to admit but like Emma, I didn’t want to share him. He is like my brother and once you have him he will never let you go. And I can tell, you have him.”

  In my chat with Annette, I understand this is an apt dialogue, one needed for me to move forward and accept the past these two share, and know that just like Rafe and myself, he, too, has had someone special before me.

  Annette continues, “That’s why he’s so close to Lila and Jane. Nick’s not happy about Jane and Kai, but he is being a good sport about it. Jane doesn’t date just anyone.”

  It is then that it dawns on me that I am not just lucky to have someone like Nick, but also for the new people Nick is bringing into my life.

  As we pull into the driveway of the old farmhouse that sits on just shy of three acres of land, my heart sinks. I have great memories of growing up on this land, especially when Lorelei joined my family. We would lose ourselves for hours on the property. It is a memory that I hold close to my heart. If the trees could talk, they would divulge the many secrets that we shared throughout the years.

  I can feel my uneasiness in the pit of my stomach when I step outside of the car. Nick takes my hand in his, aware of my uneasiness, since all morning I have complained about spending this day with my father. It was my hope that my mom would join us, but she didn’t want to leave my father home alone. It sounded like a good plan to me when I suggested it.

  He cocks his face to the side, giving me a slight smile, and I try to give him a return smile, but my clenching jaw stops me. I am not easily shaken, but I am in this environment.

  When we approach the entrance to the kitchen, I swing open the door and announce, “Mom, we are here.”

  My mom greets us, hugging Nick first in the Marcia Staudle way I have come to accept from this woman. “So, this must be Nick. It is nice to meet you, my dear.”

  “Mrs. Staudle, it is nice to meet you. I have to say, I am quite fond of your daughter and am pleased to meet the woman responsible for her.” Nick’s formal wording cracks me up at times, but it is just the way he is.

  “She is quite special to us, though I have to say we never really know what will come out of her mouth,” my mom teases, finally giving me a hug. She turns to Nick to say, “Please, call me Marcia.”

  A coldness surrounds us, and everyone’s demeanor changes as my dad stalks into the kitchen and shouts, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

  He walks over to the fridge to grab a beer. “Broad, when is brunch? I am hungry.”

  I grab Nick’s arm tenderly as a sign that my mom is all right and she shows us all, including my protective boyfriend, that she can hold her own. She simply says, “Don’t be rude to our guests, dear, or they will not want to come back and see us.”

  “Where are your brats today?” he asks, looking around for Rose and Kai.

  “Dad, don’t talk about my kids like that.” Yes, I can call them out on their ass hat ways but my dad has not earned this right.

  “Well, they are rude not coming over to at least see their Grams.”

  My mom turns around with tears in her eyes. “Damn it, Jim, all I wanted was one nice breakfast with the kids.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m leaving. Seems I’m not wanted anyway.” He approaches the door and turns around. “I am going to the bar for the morning. I will be back when she is not here,” he says, pointing at me and I instantly hold tight to Nick’s hand, not letting go.

  The color is draining from my mom’s face and I am speechless for the right words to comfort her. When my dad is gone, I let go of Nick. I walk toward my mom, who is crying over the sink. “Mom, it is okay.” I pull her into an embrace from behind.

  “Thanks, honey. But I can’t take an I told you so this morning.”

  “It wasn’t even on the tip of my tongue,” I say.

  My mom turns to embrace me. “I love you, honey.” I hold onto my mom tight because I love her, too, so much and in this moment, I don’t think about what an ass my dad is but of the strong woman who is standing before me. One day I might find out why my dad is the way he is but for now, I will just love on my mom.

  Our brunch isn’t perfect, not even close to perfect, but it is my family and Nick is still at the table beside me. My father’s temper tantrum has not pushed him away and I know it never will.

  After the fiasco at breakfast, I steal some time for myself with just Rose. Clearing out the whole house, I am ready for a heart-to-heart with my daughter. “Am I in trouble, Mom?” Rose asks as I place a cup of coffee in front of my daughter.

  “No, sweetheart, not at all, but I have seen something inside of you has changed. Your whole demeanor is different. Don’t get me wrong, it’s in a good way. Somehow, you’ve matured. I am just wondering what can it be?”

  Rose, wearing a big smile, says, “What can I say, Mom? I am in love.”

  Rose begins to explain. “It’s just that I get it now. When Jones and I stopped sleeping together, it gave us time to really get to know one another and through that, I’ve fallen in love with him. This is real, Mom.”

  If it had not been for Nick, I may not understand, but I do. I give my daughter a knowing grin and say, “I get it, honey. You and Jones, you have something special?”

  “Very special and we messed it up with sex at first. He comes from a very dysfunctional family, like it is twenty times worse than anything in our family. Jones really is just an afterthought in their life. What kind of parents leave their teenage son home alone on Thanksgiving?”

  Rose makes a good point and I recognize that I never have given Jones a chance.

  “Just promise me that when you become intimate again, that you two are careful.”

  Rose’s face blushes. “I promise to be vigilant, mom. I am in no rush to start a family.”

  Grabbing her hand, I smile and say, “Love looks good on you Rose.”

  “It looks good on you, too, Mom.”

  25

  Nick

  It warms my heart to intertwine my family with Justine’s over the Thanksgiving weekend. Finally giving Kai a break, as he and Jane sneak off for some alone time, I understand even kids are entitled to the magical feelings that I am experiencing with Justine.

  I am surprised the time she takes to get to know Rose’s boyfriend better. To my surprise, when Jones arrived for dinner, Justine takes an immediate interest in him. The resolve that is plastered all over Rose’s face proves to me that both mother and daughter had a productive talk when they kicked Kai and me out of the house before dinner. Jones is a humanitarian, majoring in human health with the intention of working with Doctors Without Borders once he finishes medical school. I know the last couple of months have been hard for Justine with the riff in her relationships with her kids. However, I see a different Justine now that her relationship with them is being repaired.

  After dinner, we host a night of board games galore and everyone hangs out and drinks, and then drinks more. Afterward, Justine and I go back to the house while Jane, Kai, Rose, and Jones watch a movie on the couch. I make some coffee and we sit cuddled in a blanket on the front porch to talk.

  Out of the blue, I say, “I know it’s only been a little less than two months, but I know that you are the one, Justine. What would you do if I wanted to get married? I’ve only considered it with one other person and this person just happens to be next door in my house. That was just out of convenience for Emma, not love. But I love you.”

  I instantly feel her body as it becomes rigid and stiff. “So, what are you actually asking?”

  “I want you to know I will marry you one day. Don’t be blindsided but I feel the next step is to move in together.”

  I am ready for many arguments that she could sling my way and I am shocked when the one obstacle out of her mouth is, “You hate my dad, though.”

  I can’t h
elp but laugh at her. “Well, in all fairness, sweetheart, you hate your own dad, too.”

  She laughs. “Yes, I guess you are right.” With a small chuckle from both of us, we continue to talk.

  “All I want to do is take care of you, but I don’t want to dominate you or make you feel like you’re giving up the person you are.” I want her to be reassured of this. In my commitment, I don’t want her to feel she is ever giving up a part of herself, which I know is important to her.

  “I have sonar for something like that—you would never have gotten on my front porch, mister.”

  “Is that so?” I start to tickle her.

  Then she surprises me. I think the subject is over, as if it may take a lot for her to see the logic of this next step. She takes my chin in her hands. “I think this is a topic worth talking about.” My heart leaps. I had thought this was going to be harder. "But for now, I’m ready for bed. How about you?”

  I laugh, lowering my voice. “I’m ready for something, that’s for sure, but the kids, they could hear us.”

  “It’s time for them to go back to your home,” Justine says as I am quickly snapped to action, sending kids to the appropriate houses.

  Kai comes out a second later. “Mom, it’s not even eleven yet!” I hold her in my arms and smile at Kai’s frowning face.

  “Well, honey, Nick and I are going to bed and we really don’t want people in the den making noise. You can watch television upstairs, but I can guarantee that Nick is not all right with Jane in your room.”

  “Oh goodness, Mom, you didn’t have to be quite that graphic,” Kai proclaims, throwing up his hands in the air.

  “First off, I said we were going to bed, but now that you bring it up, your mom does have a good sex life.”

  I say nothing, laughing hilariously on the inside.